Hello douche-bags!
Okay, my recent posts have become more serious and well, just angry rants. And that is really not my style.
So, whatsup? Well, nothing much on my side either; still woman-less, still pee in my bed at night, still an idiot. I wonder what the pope is doing right now? Probably looking at himself in his hat. I like the pope's hat. It “cool”.
Yesterday was my art teacher's birthday. I can understand why she is so... full of it. I mean the woman (if you want to call her that) just turned a hundred and eleventy (guess where I got this from)!
Moving on, my parents don't enter my room. Not on a regular basis, at least. Which is good, in a way, but it makes it really difficult pretending to study! I don't want to lie, I just want to fake it!
And I passed my first eco(nomics) test. I was sure I would fail it and that would mean I'd have to do it again. Twice! Bu I passed. And my friend, who is book smart, flunked it. I won't embarrass him by giving out his name, but here's a hint; the first part of his name is 'The' and the second part has a B, a H, an A, two Ls and another A. But thats as far as you are getting!
I am bored. I should be studying for a test tomorrow, but my ethics come in the way. Plus, I am bored and studies bore me. I want entertainment. I want a naked woman dancing for me. And preferably a good looking woman. Or some sick freaks would stick an old lady, who just wants to have sex with The Pope, in front of me.
I pick on the pope too much. Well, he can go fuck himself and leave the little boys alone! But seriously, I should stop.
Anyway, I am going to wrap it up with a final message which, I hope, will change your life. It changed mine!
“The Great Jambonie, eccentric human cannonball known for taking his lucky donkey to all his performances, escaped near tragedy today when the donkey climbed into the cannon muzzle just as Jambonie was taking off. It took the surgeons three hours to remove Jambonie's head from his ass.”
Good night and keep away from the windows; You can get cancer. In the head!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Post No. 16: The Pope is coming, hide the little boys!
Hello men and boys and all with penises.. no not you Pope,
Women have actually managed to piss me off. Not really, but I am closer than the usual.
Now, you will ask 'why?'.
'Why Avanish? What have the goddam women done now?' And I'll answer; they can't get over it! I use 'gay' as an insult (among other richer meanings). I am sorry if it insulted you in anyway, I respect homosexuals. It takes balls to be gay (Especially in the society of today, where they just need an excuse to screw you. And I am not just talking about India.). But if I use a term in any particular way other than it referring to homosexuality, why do women have to come after me with scissors trying to castrate me?
I am not a sexist because it sounds like I am getting some. I am one because women have made me one. I feel for women who actually suffer. But women that I know, they need to chill the fuck out!
I, generally, like the women I know. They are nice people. Yes, they are. But there are these little things, which are okay once in while but sometimes they over do it. But thats a female trait. And its true.
And don't think women aren't sexist. They are, they are probably more than we are (I am).
Okay, here is another thing, women can't get over stuff. They push little mistakes and misunderstandings In your face every opportunity they get. I once said 'sad and disturbing'. Because I am not the most physically fit man. For some reason the woman took offense or something. And she held onto it for I don't know how long! And I did notice it six months later (so I guess I do know how long...). I forgot about the comment. I could barely remember when I said it. But now I do. And I have nothing against her, I like her. But sometimes I can't tell if she did take offense to it or not, if she ever got over it or not (I bet she did... I mean when its coming from me, nobody really cares... ), I don't know if she uses it as a joke or still holds a grudge . I hate women.
And I think pink is gay. I bet I'll get a stupid comment telling me that pink is not gay and it can't be gay because, and I quote, Its a freaking sexual orientation.
Well, get over it!
Again, I like women. Because I am not gay (there, I used it correctly). Anyway, I like women. The ones I know and in general. But I am not a sexist because it sounds like I am getting some, but I have actually seen this shit happen.
And I hope I didn't offend anybody (I know I did. And I am wearing a steel underwear tomorrow. I'd like my balls to stay attached to my groin and not on the floor, to graphic?) And if I did, GET OVER IT!
Anyway, this was actually very fun. And I'll see you women later, have fun bitching about me!(yea, I went there! And cam back with my balls!)
Women have actually managed to piss me off. Not really, but I am closer than the usual.
Now, you will ask 'why?'.
'Why Avanish? What have the goddam women done now?' And I'll answer; they can't get over it! I use 'gay' as an insult (among other richer meanings). I am sorry if it insulted you in anyway, I respect homosexuals. It takes balls to be gay (Especially in the society of today, where they just need an excuse to screw you. And I am not just talking about India.). But if I use a term in any particular way other than it referring to homosexuality, why do women have to come after me with scissors trying to castrate me?
I am not a sexist because it sounds like I am getting some. I am one because women have made me one. I feel for women who actually suffer. But women that I know, they need to chill the fuck out!
I, generally, like the women I know. They are nice people. Yes, they are. But there are these little things, which are okay once in while but sometimes they over do it. But thats a female trait. And its true.
And don't think women aren't sexist. They are, they are probably more than we are (I am).
Okay, here is another thing, women can't get over stuff. They push little mistakes and misunderstandings In your face every opportunity they get. I once said 'sad and disturbing'. Because I am not the most physically fit man. For some reason the woman took offense or something. And she held onto it for I don't know how long! And I did notice it six months later (so I guess I do know how long...). I forgot about the comment. I could barely remember when I said it. But now I do. And I have nothing against her, I like her. But sometimes I can't tell if she did take offense to it or not, if she ever got over it or not (I bet she did... I mean when its coming from me, nobody really cares... ), I don't know if she uses it as a joke or still holds a grudge . I hate women.
And I think pink is gay. I bet I'll get a stupid comment telling me that pink is not gay and it can't be gay because, and I quote, Its a freaking sexual orientation.
Well, get over it!
Again, I like women. Because I am not gay (there, I used it correctly). Anyway, I like women. The ones I know and in general. But I am not a sexist because it sounds like I am getting some, but I have actually seen this shit happen.
And I hope I didn't offend anybody (I know I did. And I am wearing a steel underwear tomorrow. I'd like my balls to stay attached to my groin and not on the floor, to graphic?) And if I did, GET OVER IT!
Anyway, this was actually very fun. And I'll see you women later, have fun bitching about me!(yea, I went there! And cam back with my balls!)
Friday, February 20, 2009
Post No. 15: Did you shave my cat...
Hello...
This has been a rather disturbing day, no not really. I have no idea what to talk about. And no, I don't have writers block. That happens to people who have something worth writing.
I have also noticed that I blog. Everyday. Every-fucking-day! This truly is sad. And disturbing.
I have become one of those freaks of nature who write about their life and what they did during the day. I am feeling sad. And disturbed.
Anyway, I noticed that I had tried a joke twice. And I don't know if people laughed at it or not. The joke was about how much I hated 'that ugly fuck' across the mirror. So, I ask you; did you laugh??
I watched the trailer of Dragonball Evolution. Now, this movie can be kickass or they can screw it up like I have with my life. But they don't have many of the fun characters, like Krillin. Thats all I can think of right now.
Also, I am desperately awaiting X-Men Origins: Wolverine. And I wish I had someone to talk about comics with. I have no one except my brother. And I would annoy my brother by calling him constantly, but then again unlike me; he has a life. And, probably, a woman.
Man, I swear, everybody is getting some except me. Even my friend is being set up with another one of my friends as we speak. I can't disclose their identities on account of it ruining the set up. Man, if I don't land a woman withing this year I am switching to guys. And I'll probably fail at that too.
Sometimes I wish I had the balls to ask a girl out, but as we all know, my balls are in the hands of the devil (or the art teacher). Bitch.
Moving on, Have you ever noticed the couples sitting on the corner seats of movie theaters making out and fondling each others body parts, I have, and trust me you, Its not the most desirable sight. Though its better than watching The O.C. Jeez, can you get more white trash? YES, 91210!!!!
I am sick of white-teen dramas that come out of the worlds snake pit called the United States of Assholes. Why do people watch them? They have nothing to do with our fucking situation. Get over it.
I'll finish now. I am sleepy and tomorrow's a holiday. I'll sleep in late and then try to loosen up the grip my art teacher has on my testicles.
Anyway, say hi to your friends and family. Except your mom, I'll be seeing her soon. Did that hurt? No it didn't, because it came from me, and lets be honest here, who respects me? Not even my own slave. Okay, I don't have a slave. But I wish I did!
Oh well, live on one more night.
This has been a rather disturbing day, no not really. I have no idea what to talk about. And no, I don't have writers block. That happens to people who have something worth writing.
I have also noticed that I blog. Everyday. Every-fucking-day! This truly is sad. And disturbing.
I have become one of those freaks of nature who write about their life and what they did during the day. I am feeling sad. And disturbed.
Anyway, I noticed that I had tried a joke twice. And I don't know if people laughed at it or not. The joke was about how much I hated 'that ugly fuck' across the mirror. So, I ask you; did you laugh??
I watched the trailer of Dragonball Evolution. Now, this movie can be kickass or they can screw it up like I have with my life. But they don't have many of the fun characters, like Krillin. Thats all I can think of right now.
Also, I am desperately awaiting X-Men Origins: Wolverine. And I wish I had someone to talk about comics with. I have no one except my brother. And I would annoy my brother by calling him constantly, but then again unlike me; he has a life. And, probably, a woman.
Man, I swear, everybody is getting some except me. Even my friend is being set up with another one of my friends as we speak. I can't disclose their identities on account of it ruining the set up. Man, if I don't land a woman withing this year I am switching to guys. And I'll probably fail at that too.
Sometimes I wish I had the balls to ask a girl out, but as we all know, my balls are in the hands of the devil (or the art teacher). Bitch.
Moving on, Have you ever noticed the couples sitting on the corner seats of movie theaters making out and fondling each others body parts, I have, and trust me you, Its not the most desirable sight. Though its better than watching The O.C. Jeez, can you get more white trash? YES, 91210!!!!
I am sick of white-teen dramas that come out of the worlds snake pit called the United States of Assholes. Why do people watch them? They have nothing to do with our fucking situation. Get over it.
I'll finish now. I am sleepy and tomorrow's a holiday. I'll sleep in late and then try to loosen up the grip my art teacher has on my testicles.
Anyway, say hi to your friends and family. Except your mom, I'll be seeing her soon. Did that hurt? No it didn't, because it came from me, and lets be honest here, who respects me? Not even my own slave. Okay, I don't have a slave. But I wish I did!
Oh well, live on one more night.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Post No. 14: Armaan has a nice blog...
People suck,
So, people hate people. If not hate, they don't like each other. Me? I like everybody, except some people who just annoy me. I won't name them. Kirat, Nick, The B.H.A.L.L.A., Firdaus, Radhika, Tara, Urvashi, that ugly fuck on the other side of the mirror etc.
I don't get the politics of the whole thing. (Again, I do not know what this sentence is suppose to mean, it just sounds nice...)
Moving on, tomorrow will suck. Well, I don't know if It will or not, but if I go with my gut; I need to pee. Now. Today was fun. I have taken a liking to Thursdays, they make me feel all... fuzzy inside.
Sometimes I don't know if people even like me. Sometimes it feels like I live in a world of lies and deception. But then I have my medication and everything is back to normal. No, but seriously, it's hard to tell sometimes. And the thing is there aren't any reasons to like me anyway; I am not charming, I am not fun to look at. I am not ugly either, but I am on the worse half of average looking. I am stupid as a female monkey scratching her balls. WHY would they like me? Then it comes to me; people like monkeys. Oh, and they suck.
Anyway, I am sleepy. And I like the new small posts, they might not be funny (not that they ever were) and might be zero on content (like the rest of the blog), its easier on me.
So, sayonara, you stupid Canadian.
So, people hate people. If not hate, they don't like each other. Me? I like everybody, except some people who just annoy me. I won't name them. Kirat, Nick, The B.H.A.L.L.A., Firdaus, Radhika, Tara, Urvashi, that ugly fuck on the other side of the mirror etc.
I don't get the politics of the whole thing. (Again, I do not know what this sentence is suppose to mean, it just sounds nice...)
Moving on, tomorrow will suck. Well, I don't know if It will or not, but if I go with my gut; I need to pee. Now. Today was fun. I have taken a liking to Thursdays, they make me feel all... fuzzy inside.
Sometimes I don't know if people even like me. Sometimes it feels like I live in a world of lies and deception. But then I have my medication and everything is back to normal. No, but seriously, it's hard to tell sometimes. And the thing is there aren't any reasons to like me anyway; I am not charming, I am not fun to look at. I am not ugly either, but I am on the worse half of average looking. I am stupid as a female monkey scratching her balls. WHY would they like me? Then it comes to me; people like monkeys. Oh, and they suck.
Anyway, I am sleepy. And I like the new small posts, they might not be funny (not that they ever were) and might be zero on content (like the rest of the blog), its easier on me.
So, sayonara, you stupid Canadian.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Post No. 13: He needs a haircut!
Hello.
This is my last post. I am never going to post again.
HA, fooled you!
Anyway, my parents are away for a couple of days, I am alone at home(hint, hint ladies...). And Nick just spent two hours at my place. We watched videos on YOUTUBE. It was really sad. And disturbing. Tomorrows Thursday. I like Thursdays. I don't have art on Thursdays. I never thought I could actually not like 'art' as a subject of study. Really. It's the teacher, that bitch has a tight grip on my balls! One false move and she crushes them like she crushed Lucifer's supreme rule over Hell.
I am participating in MUN. Model United Nation(s?). Its Intra-school. And you know what the best part is; people actually want me in their committee even though they know I am a complete idiot who is one false move away from being castrated! It feels nice to be wanted.
Now, I have to decide between “Urvashi”(remember her?) and Kirat. And I don't want to say 'no' to anybody, I don't like to disappoint. That is my only flaw (and if I do make a false move, I'll never be able to have kids again, so thats there too...) (And yes, I am going to bring that up repeatedly!)
Anyway, I might go with the woman. I mean, c'mon, the choice is between a guy and a woman. I don't want to complicate things, so I look at it from an EXTREMELY basic view; Man or Woman?
The answer is woman.
Both are really good friends. Both are equally stupid, but shhh; they don't know it! Talk about delusions of grandeur.
The only difference between them and me is they work hard and I don't (Also I am mentally sick)
I had only one term, when I offered to join, it was that I wouldn't be required to do ANY work what-so-ever! And both of them accepted the terms. That screwed me in more ways than imaginable (not really, but always wanted say that, “screwed me in more ways than imaginable”).
Anyway, I just realized, this post is just me ranting on about my life. And you don't want to know about my life, you read this blog to read abut my 'sexcapades'. (Its like escapades involving sex. With a female (for a change!)).
Well, I'll wrap it up. See you soul-less muggers later. And have swagger while you on it!
This is my last post. I am never going to post again.
HA, fooled you!
Anyway, my parents are away for a couple of days, I am alone at home(hint, hint ladies...). And Nick just spent two hours at my place. We watched videos on YOUTUBE. It was really sad. And disturbing. Tomorrows Thursday. I like Thursdays. I don't have art on Thursdays. I never thought I could actually not like 'art' as a subject of study. Really. It's the teacher, that bitch has a tight grip on my balls! One false move and she crushes them like she crushed Lucifer's supreme rule over Hell.
I am participating in MUN. Model United Nation(s?). Its Intra-school. And you know what the best part is; people actually want me in their committee even though they know I am a complete idiot who is one false move away from being castrated! It feels nice to be wanted.
Now, I have to decide between “Urvashi”(remember her?) and Kirat. And I don't want to say 'no' to anybody, I don't like to disappoint. That is my only flaw (and if I do make a false move, I'll never be able to have kids again, so thats there too...) (And yes, I am going to bring that up repeatedly!)
Anyway, I might go with the woman. I mean, c'mon, the choice is between a guy and a woman. I don't want to complicate things, so I look at it from an EXTREMELY basic view; Man or Woman?
The answer is woman.
Both are really good friends. Both are equally stupid, but shhh; they don't know it! Talk about delusions of grandeur.
The only difference between them and me is they work hard and I don't (Also I am mentally sick)
I had only one term, when I offered to join, it was that I wouldn't be required to do ANY work what-so-ever! And both of them accepted the terms. That screwed me in more ways than imaginable (not really, but always wanted say that, “screwed me in more ways than imaginable”).
Anyway, I just realized, this post is just me ranting on about my life. And you don't want to know about my life, you read this blog to read abut my 'sexcapades'. (Its like escapades involving sex. With a female (for a change!)).
Well, I'll wrap it up. See you soul-less muggers later. And have swagger while you on it!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Post No. 12: We are the cause of a world that's gone wrong... and Micheal Jackson.
Hello slinky,
I haven't posted since valentines day since it was a super-post and I didn't want to distract from that. But lets get over it. Comments have stopped coming in. And I'd like to thank Alchemy16 for her generous words (she might have been high though...) and I don't like to refer to people as their username, I prefer their real name. BUT since this a blog where we keep everybody anonymous I will call this one “Urvashi”. Its just a bunch of random syllables joined together.
SO, thank you “Urvashi” >wink, wink<.
But honestly, I am very happy with how the Super-post turned out. The only plan of mine that has worked in recent time. Unlike the last one, where I tried to get a mongoose to mate with a snake. But a little too late (after I had spent a couple of grand on each) did I realize, snakes don't have vaginae or penises. It's a screwy, screwy world we live in.
As people all over the world were dealing with the aftermath of the 14th, my brother celebrated his 22nd anniversary being on this planet and his 7th attempt to get out of it on the 15th. Belated-'Happy Birthday' Dada (I am NOT bengali... screw you!), you are the other half of the reason I am such a fucked up retard. Thank you!
No, but really, I am in his debt. If not for him, I'd be all proactive like Kirat, Urvashi, Firdaus, Radhika and others. But have you seen them? If you are new here, chances are you haven't. But take my word for it; they are way more screwed up than I am. The only difference is, they are a different kind of 'fucked up'. I have an extension; retard. Sometimes I am afraid their heart will fail of heart failure. Well, not the males, they are pretty decent (by 'decent', I mean they are too fucked up to get stressed (and I don't mean the psycho-term), they have different kinds of aftereffects like cynicism and weight. I am fat, but I don't work and I eat. A lot. That man plays soccer and he is still pretty hefty!).
The women. I am not sexist, its just that these things have happened infront of me. And guys always somehow, some-how just out-do women. But women are still my first preference.
Anyway, my brother introduced me to comic books, the genres of sci-fi and fantasy. STARWARS! Now, you must be thinking; his brother must be a geek, but he gets more women than the Pope gets little boys! And THAT is saying something.
Anyway, before I offend anymore people, I'll wrap it up.
So, I shall see you when I done with your m...(I was going to say 'mom' but I realized it might offend someone.)
So, bye.
White people SUCK!
I haven't posted since valentines day since it was a super-post and I didn't want to distract from that. But lets get over it. Comments have stopped coming in. And I'd like to thank Alchemy16 for her generous words (she might have been high though...) and I don't like to refer to people as their username, I prefer their real name. BUT since this a blog where we keep everybody anonymous I will call this one “Urvashi”. Its just a bunch of random syllables joined together.
SO, thank you “Urvashi” >wink, wink<.
But honestly, I am very happy with how the Super-post turned out. The only plan of mine that has worked in recent time. Unlike the last one, where I tried to get a mongoose to mate with a snake. But a little too late (after I had spent a couple of grand on each) did I realize, snakes don't have vaginae or penises. It's a screwy, screwy world we live in.
As people all over the world were dealing with the aftermath of the 14th, my brother celebrated his 22nd anniversary being on this planet and his 7th attempt to get out of it on the 15th. Belated-'Happy Birthday' Dada (I am NOT bengali... screw you!), you are the other half of the reason I am such a fucked up retard. Thank you!
No, but really, I am in his debt. If not for him, I'd be all proactive like Kirat, Urvashi, Firdaus, Radhika and others. But have you seen them? If you are new here, chances are you haven't. But take my word for it; they are way more screwed up than I am. The only difference is, they are a different kind of 'fucked up'. I have an extension; retard. Sometimes I am afraid their heart will fail of heart failure. Well, not the males, they are pretty decent (by 'decent', I mean they are too fucked up to get stressed (and I don't mean the psycho-term), they have different kinds of aftereffects like cynicism and weight. I am fat, but I don't work and I eat. A lot. That man plays soccer and he is still pretty hefty!).
The women. I am not sexist, its just that these things have happened infront of me. And guys always somehow, some-how just out-do women. But women are still my first preference.
Anyway, my brother introduced me to comic books, the genres of sci-fi and fantasy. STARWARS! Now, you must be thinking; his brother must be a geek, but he gets more women than the Pope gets little boys! And THAT is saying something.
Anyway, before I offend anymore people, I'll wrap it up.
So, I shall see you when I done with your m...(I was going to say 'mom' but I realized it might offend someone.)
So, bye.
White people SUCK!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Super-Post No. 1: The Sausage's in Germany are Big...
Happy valentines day, you love-less freaks,
Today is the day they call the 'day of love'. Who, you ask. Some guy on the Internet, fuckifIknow! (got this one from a friend...>wink, wink<) Yesterday was the thirteenth and a Friday. And it was a good day. Sure a couple hundred fucks all around the world had a crap day, but screw them.
I won't particularly talk about valentines day or love, I don't do so well with mushy stuff. Or flowers. Or candy (doesn't mean I don't love it). Or women. And, again, that does not mean I don't love them. I decided to reveal many things with this post, in case some sad, low-life who I don't know is reading this. Like for starters, my name is not Hawkeye (don't need to be brown to figure that out...), Its Avanish Sathianathan (try pronouncing this you white motherfuckers!).
I also promised I would reveal the person I liked. It'll be done at the end of this massive post. Though when I made the promise, I assumed I would be pretty sloshed when I write this. But it just hit me later; I don't drink! And not that there's anything wrong with that, I hear drunk people are 'better lovers'. Or was it 'easy'?
Anyway, today, people will be asked out, they'll get laid, spend time with that special someone or two, kiss for the first time, sit at home and watch porn while pining for a girl they will never get, gift heart shaped boxes with chocolate in it to friends, etc. For some people, today should be beautiful or >insert other mushy stuff<. For to me (If you idiots haven;t figured it out yet, I am the guy sitting at home watching porn while pining for a girl I will never get, on account of me being stupid and retarded. And fuck ugly) it will be like any other day.
It's sad really. I am getting all down about a day that I believe is a sham. I guess I am finally hitting puberty (about time, won't you say?). I finally need female companionship. Or a dog.
I read that again, and the para above this, the ending, it doesn't sound right. But hopefully you will understand what I mean after you are done laughing or thinking about how my name rhymes with 'sick fuck'.
I like school.
Moving on, I have asked a few of my friends (yes, I have friends and no I don't pay them... at least not on an hourly basis and NO, they don't charge extra for anal either, well, not all of them...) to write some articles to make this post worth reading and maybe increase my fan base, which might be only two people.
You will also notice that the contributors are all male. I was considering asking a couple of women to write, but A) they (most probably) think I am creep who should die. B) Women have no sense of humor. I mean it; name one GOOD female comedian. Or name one female who actually cracks jokes which don't end with 'tho wear a thaddle thilly!'.
My friends were kind enough (Or complete idiots...) to bother with this and write the following pieces. Probably the only part worth reading throughout this post (or blog). And how do you know its not me pretending to be someone else, wearing a corset and having sex with dogs?. Well, A) The language. I barely manage to put words together, the following articles are written in a highly refined manner. B) The topics handled by them are way above my petty rantings and the humor is much more witty than me putting F words everywhere. C) I don't have a C.
The following is by Mr. Firdaus Kishwar. A good man, this one is. His post is funny, but then again, I laugh at a fart which was just skin rubbing on leather. SO have a look for yourself.
Not really... Surprise me...
Disclaimer: Reading ahead could cause some serious, irreversible damage (that’s how bad this is going to be).
So anyway, I’m writing this because my friend, the “boob” (this one actually is a code name), asked me to write it. He said there was no specific topic I had to write on, but he was subtly hinting at Valentine’s Day. Subtle however is matter of perspective. While talking to me on the phone, telling me there is no particular topic I had to write it on, he sent me a sms saying “you can write it on the topic of valentine’s day if you want”.
But this Valentine’s a big occasion for him. He’s gonna reveal to us whom he likes. The guys and I have got a bet going on as to who it will be. No, wait, that’s the second bet. The first one is a bet on which gender he has a crush on. I personally have a hundred bucks on him being gay. I’m also in on the second bet, with two hundred bucks on him having a thing for the B.H.A.L.L.A. (refer to previous posts).
I know the B.H.A.L.L.A. has a secret thing for him. Nick and “boob” went to watch a movie without the B.H.A.L.L.A. and the B.H.A.L.L.A. (seriously is getting annoying typing his name out) then had a broken heart. The sms’s that followed went like this:
the B.H.A.L.L.A.: “what, you went without me?”
boob: “dude relax, just a movie. Besides, I really wanted to watch it. I heard some guys kisses another guy.”
the B.H.A.L.L.A.: “that hurt. I'm hurting inside now baby. I'm not going to talk to you until you do something sweet for me.”
The next day in school, in attempt to pacify the B.H.A.L.L.A., ‘boob’ tried to learn the soulja boy dance and win him back. It did work to some extent, as you will see in the following sms’s:
the B.H.A.L.L.A.: “ I assume you got home since you haven’t returned any of my calls or messages. Call me!!!
Boob: “sorry dude, left my phone at home when I went to say “hey, waats upp?” to a bunch of friends in the colony.”
the B.H.A.L.L.A.: “see, that wasn’t so hard now, was it?”
We guys read his sms’s one of these past days, and were all like “What the hell!?!? We weren’t even invited to the wedding!! That to when we set you guys up!!” (please get the joke)
I sincerely apologize for writing something like that. Though my writing otherwise is only marginally better. Go see http://firdaus1992.blogspot.com to read more.
By Firdaus Kishwar
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And Wow. That just blew me away. It really did and I think I lost some weight!
The next one is by The B.H.A.L.L.A, and we are not having an affair... or are we?
Here's The B.H.A.L.L.A.'s post,
A day in the life
Hello and hi and whats been going on? I do not know how to start and I may not know how to end but whatever. I don't care what people are going to say about my writing and content fo this post and I don't care if you understand it or not.
You should just read this thinking nothing and you should know that I when I was asked to write this post, I had many different ideas on what to post about but what I finally settled on might make some of you mad, might piss some of you off and might be a fun read for some of you. Whatever the outcome is, I hope it is a good one for you. Don't come crying to me on Monday morning.
Today is a beautiful morning, the sun is out and the birds are chirping. Happy times indeed. The past few weeks though, have been nothing like today.
Over the past two weeks or so, our exams have ended, we celebrated, saw Slumdog Millionaire, played AOE, threw a grad dinner for our seniors and started Class XII with only 3-4% of the class really eager and wanting to study. These two weeks were quite fun on the whole but mostly pissing off during the times. Especially when Kirat, me and Nick and Avanish and Firdaus went back and forth killing each other and creating a army again and again until Firdaus and Avanish left and me Nick and Kirat went on and on. Eventually we were forced to quit.
There was also the part about sending Nick all around Priya until he found us at Yo! China. These were truly fun times and won't be forgotten for sometime to come. Now let me get on to my actual post. It won't be that long so don't worry.
Let me first of all introduce you to the wonderful people who will grace this post.
In no particular order:
1.Person PO: Annoying, slow and just the right person to laugh at.
2.The Forgotten Loser: This person is just one of those loves to piss off others and is a wannabe SCM.
3.A nejhloupější nejchytřejší osoba / En zeki ve salakça Kişi: Whoever this is will probably be wanting to know what this means and why I did this.
4.Hello, Hi, How Do You Do?: Couldn't think of a much better one so for now this will have to do.
5.El otro: Supports a team but is outnumbered here in New Delhi.
6.Randomness: Needed to be added.
7.Los Otros / Oi Alloi: Does this need to be explained anymore?
If you read my post and know somewhat about me, then you should get the post. If not, then read it again and try and understand it.
The day was whatever you want it to be. The place was NCR. All 7 people were there. The weather was nice and cooperating and what we had decided to do for the day was nothing. We all arrived withing 30 minutes of each other at South Ex except for Randomness. Why there? No one knew. This was all En zeki ve salakça Kişi idea. So we went to South Ex and we went around finding this particular movie for Person PO. We couldn't. Los otros were getting pissed off and so was El otro. We then headed for lunch and Randomness called us. We sent them to Saket while we headed to Ansal Plaza to have some food. Over there, we split up as half the people wanted Subway and the others McDonalds. Randomness had just reached Saket in the meanwhile but couldn't find any of us. So we decided to send them on a Metro ride to Rohini (which is quite a long distance away). We then decided to go for a movie but as usual, that was the hardest decision to be made. We deliberated for about an hour on which one to see but in the end we went for Delhi-6. Randomness being themselves, actually listened to us and went to Rohini.
Person PO and The Forgotten Loser were arguing on whether or not Sonam Kapoor is hot and Hello, Hi, How Do You Do joined in but no one else was up for it. The Los Otros walked out, saw a 40% sale and ran towards it. Leaving A nejhloupější nejchytřejší osoba / En zeki ve salakça Kişi and El Otro to debate on more serious matters. I on the other hand was coordinating the direction in which we were sending Randomness for a ride. They finally reached Rohini and dindn't find us. Being them though, they still wanted to meet us as they knew where we would be in the evening.
We decided a few days before but never told Randomness (though they found out) that we were going to a concert with Jack Johnson and Kanye West. So next for the Randomness's was too finally meet us. We finally told them where we would be. We told them that we just came out of a movie from Priya and that we were heading towards Select City Walk. So they reached there and wanted to slap all of us but hey, we outnumbered them! 11-3.
You know, En zeki ve salakça Kişi finally broke out of his mindset and commented on something he never does. This startled all of us but we all welcomed it. Person PO and Randomness finally told everyone what has been going on. Los Otros and me and El Otro left for my place before the concert. While the others went to Person PO's house. We all went back home. Had some more food. Watched TV. Gossiped and did the usual stuff. We also bitched a lot about people which happenes every other day.
The day was winding down and we all got dressed. Looking hot and handsome. We then met at Siri For Auditorium at 6:30. An hour before it was to begin. The only reason for dressing up was for the party after the concert. The concert was great fun and Person PO and Randomness especially enjoyed it. En zeki ve salakça Kişi commented some more (I shan't tell you the rest). So that was over and we dragged En zeki ve salakça Kişi to the party at Ministry of Sound. It was a Wednesday night, so the women got in free.
The last part of the day was one of the most fun other than the concert. We all danced (for a change), some drank (was bound to happen), no one smoked (thankfully) and Person PO and Randomness really struck it together. They were the new “it” couple. We all spurred En zeki ve salakça Kişi to dance! It was fun. The Forgotten Loser made a fool of himself. The other Randomness hit it off with The Forgotten Loser.
El Otro, Los Otros and I, left at around 11:00 in the night and took Hello, Hi, How Do You Do? And left for El Otro's house where we enjoyed our final few moment before the day ended and a new year began. The new year was to bring us a whole lot more of studying and no time for shit like this so we thoroughly enjoyed the day as much as we could.
The one person I have not talked about much was Hello, Hi, How Do You Do? His story commands a whole post by itself. So that will be left for Part II.
Person PO: “I especially liked the day for my luck was good and my dance was great and all I can say is, Love, Love, Love.
The Forgotten Loser: I roamed around Delhi aimlessly and did stupid shit but hey, when do I not do that?
A nejhloupější nejchytřejší osoba: “Today was th day I finally broke out of my mindset and went a head and did the unthinkable.
Hello, Hi, How Do You Do?: Trailed along, enjoyed it and talked in the annoying way he always does. “I am the man and I am the woman, I shall break free tomorrow”.
El Otro: “My jokes today may not have worked, but who the hell really cares? “I got to see a fabulous concert and spend the last day and hours of freedom with some of my best friends.
Randomness 1: Love, Love, Love, What more can I say? “Actually, the morning journey around the whole of Delhi helped me see a part of Delhi I had never even set foot in before.” Thanks guys!
Randomness 2: I am going to kill you all for this! “Arrgh, you people are going to have to be reported. Beware!”
Randomness 3 & 4: Had awesome fun and wouldn't mind doing this again.
Los Otros: Changed clothes twice in a day, saw a concert and did some shit I wouldn't have done before (Will be revealed in Part II). “We all enjoyed ourselves and the things we did were fun and outrageous but who the hell gives a damn? It is out life, let us enjoy it ourselves. Also, to get revenge on the Randomness was just the best thing one could have asked for”. Thanks and we love you all!
Part I – was the story that was told to everyone. The last day of freedom and all. A day that shall not be forgotten. Part I was the clean and censored part. It was the part which all people who want to can enjoy.
Part II – Now, there was an inside story also to this day. Lots of things happened which are not included in Part I for various reasons. Part II will be carrying the uncensored part and the rest of the story which may be a little out of hand.
So soak up the sun, enjoy the first part of the story and await the upcoming Part II of the story.
Thanks everyone for celebrating the wonderful day with me.
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And Wow. That just blew me away. Next time I'll get a monkey.
The following is by my friend who is considered to be one of the smartest kids in the batch (even the school, probably). But trust me, he is not. He is an idiot, like you and I. But the only difference is; he SOUNDS smart. His voice has that arrogance and tone which commands intellect (even I don't know what this is supposed to mean, I just like the way it sounds!). And its not a bad thing, it will help him get far in life and that is also one of he reasons I like this man (also I see through all his bullshit...). His request was that his name should not be revealed so I won't. (there, I didn't reveal you name Kirat Singh...)
A Tribute to Cynicism.
(My friend has this habit of calling me a cynic, so I think I'll give him some cynicism today)
It's fourteenth February. It's Valentine's Day.
I don't care.
The sun still rose in the morning. And guess what? It still rose in the east. The sun will set this evening. It will set in the west. My guarantee.
The cows in my lane will continue to emit, if you know what I mean, methane and continue to shroud the lane with that nauseating bovine smell. It's the day of love.
Chickens and goats will be slaughtered by the hundreds, no, by the thousands to feed the countless Valentine buffets all over the city. It is the day of love.
My seemingly unendingly futile search for a math tutor will continue. In a very serious tone one of them will tell me, 'I'm fully booked but I can come at 5.30 am and 11.46 pm, but only on weekends.' It's the day of love.
While going for a game of Saturday tennis I will still get stuck in a retarded traffic jam just outside my house. People will still look exasperated. Someone in my vicinity will make a comment about improper planning and a corrupt bureaucracy. We Delhiites are very fond of blaming our troubles on 'them.' 'They' will continue to bear the blame for the troubles we will face today. 'They' can't even remove these stinking cows. It's the day of love.
Israel and Gaza had agreed upon a crude ceasefire.
I just read that the Israeli Navy and the Israeli Air force is shelling the Gaza Strip. Innocent civilians, innocent children will die today. It is the day of love.
Two men have been arrested in Australia for starting some of the bushfires that have killed nearly 200 people. There are people in this world who would purposely ignite large tracts of forest to kill, to maim and to destroy. This is the human race, the one that celebrates, so vociferously, the day of love.
It is Valentine's Day, it is the day of love.
Touche.
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And Wow. That just blew. Mr. Anonymous, you really are cynical.
Now, this post is by a man, to whom I have no objections saying 'Go fuck yourself'. This man has known me since I was just an amateur retard. This article is by Marcus Aaron T***** Norbula.
Douchebags piss me off!
There's a reason why I illegally download all my movies,i mean uh... wait for them to release on Dvd and then buy them legally on itunes. The whole movie watching experience is just ruined for me. And you know this blog isn't about the people who should shut the fuck up at the movie theater (THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER BLOG), I'm talking about the stupid fucks that come out from a kung-fu movie and think they can fight.
You know how it is,there are always these one or two douchebags that come out of a movie theater just punching and kicking in the air and they're just saying to themselves "Man I wish someone would challenge me to a fight right now" YOU FUCKING IDIOT! Why do you think you can fight? Yeah because 10yrs of martial arts training is equal to sitting on your ass for an hour and a half, eating a fucking tub of popcorn and watching Jackie Chan flip over shit!
Don't do..no you know what; do it! Yeah if you guys ever feel like doing that come out and challenge me to a fight,And then when that happens you're gonna wake up in a Hospital with your head bleeding,wondering; WHERE THE FUCK IS MY IPOD???
And while were talking about Ipods,let me just make a whole another Tangent(yeah me knows big words), If I hear another Douchebag sitting on the bus listening to his Ipod and Singing to it loudly I'm gonna STAB A HOE!!
And if you're a good singer FINE,And if you're a bad singer and you know it DON'T SING ON THE FUCKING BUS!!! And if you're a Bad singer and you don't know it sing right now I'll wait.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................WOW, YOU'RE A BAD FUCKING SINGER!!!, And you know what, I'm a Bad singer I have no control about my pitch or my key or any of those other fucking musical term I don't get, THATS WHY I DONT SING IN FUCKING PUBLIC!!!
- Sing at home
- Sing in your shower
- If your a HOT girl with the age of eighteen, Sing and Dance around your room,RECORD IT and SEND IT TO ME........So I can appreciate your technique..........through Masturbation...
Just because you're listening to Mariah Carey,Doesn't mean you sound like FUCKING MARIAH CAREY!!!
YOU CANT HEAR YOURSELF!!!!!! EVERYONE AROUND YOU CAN FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!
So do me, you and that creepy guy sitting in the back of the bus with his hands down his pants a favor and SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
And if I tell you this please don't Fucking say "The constitution gave me the right to freedom of speech" YES it does ,But it doesn't give you the right TO SOUND LIKE FUCKING HELEN KELLER (Lets see who got that joke)
If I'm coming off as angry, don't worry I'm not, I'm just saying what everyone's thinking...Because really no one wants to hear you sing when you sound like Chewbacca with a dick in his mouth
Marcus A. T. Norbula
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"Chewbacca with a dick in his mouth", need I say more?
NO.
There you have it. four articles by four dumbasses. And I thought I was stupid. Jeez. And what the fuck does “nejhloupější nejchytřejší osoba” mean anyway? Damn man... and I thought this would be good... It turned out amazingly well. This, my friends, is my first plan that actually worked (sort of). And I would like to thank them four, they have out done themselves (not really, but I hear people say that all the time so...). Do visit their blogs. It is much better than this, trust m... oh, who am I kidding. Even my mother doesn't trust me! This has been the most fun I have had since last Wednesday.
I promised I would reveal my lady-love's name. But when I thought about it, I realized that I didn't have the balls to and also I was torn between three girls and two guys... its really hard to decide!
Anyway, I shall wind it up now. I hope you enjoyed it. And my final thought for tonight is; may you never have to read this shit again.
Happy Valentines day.
Blog details;
The B.H.A.L.L.A.;
http:// www.sahilbhalla.com/
This is Mr. Anonymous' blog link;
http://www.kirat92.blogspot.com/
And here is Firdaus';
http://firdaus1992.blogspot.com
And Marcus doesn't have one, because he has a life!
Today is the day they call the 'day of love'. Who, you ask. Some guy on the Internet, fuckifIknow! (got this one from a friend...>wink, wink<) Yesterday was the thirteenth and a Friday. And it was a good day. Sure a couple hundred fucks all around the world had a crap day, but screw them.
I won't particularly talk about valentines day or love, I don't do so well with mushy stuff. Or flowers. Or candy (doesn't mean I don't love it). Or women. And, again, that does not mean I don't love them. I decided to reveal many things with this post, in case some sad, low-life who I don't know is reading this. Like for starters, my name is not Hawkeye (don't need to be brown to figure that out...), Its Avanish Sathianathan (try pronouncing this you white motherfuckers!).
I also promised I would reveal the person I liked. It'll be done at the end of this massive post. Though when I made the promise, I assumed I would be pretty sloshed when I write this. But it just hit me later; I don't drink! And not that there's anything wrong with that, I hear drunk people are 'better lovers'. Or was it 'easy'?
Anyway, today, people will be asked out, they'll get laid, spend time with that special someone or two, kiss for the first time, sit at home and watch porn while pining for a girl they will never get, gift heart shaped boxes with chocolate in it to friends, etc. For some people, today should be beautiful or >insert other mushy stuff<. For to me (If you idiots haven;t figured it out yet, I am the guy sitting at home watching porn while pining for a girl I will never get, on account of me being stupid and retarded. And fuck ugly) it will be like any other day.
It's sad really. I am getting all down about a day that I believe is a sham. I guess I am finally hitting puberty (about time, won't you say?). I finally need female companionship. Or a dog.
I read that again, and the para above this, the ending, it doesn't sound right. But hopefully you will understand what I mean after you are done laughing or thinking about how my name rhymes with 'sick fuck'.
I like school.
Moving on, I have asked a few of my friends (yes, I have friends and no I don't pay them... at least not on an hourly basis and NO, they don't charge extra for anal either, well, not all of them...) to write some articles to make this post worth reading and maybe increase my fan base, which might be only two people.
You will also notice that the contributors are all male. I was considering asking a couple of women to write, but A) they (most probably) think I am creep who should die. B) Women have no sense of humor. I mean it; name one GOOD female comedian. Or name one female who actually cracks jokes which don't end with 'tho wear a thaddle thilly!'.
My friends were kind enough (Or complete idiots...) to bother with this and write the following pieces. Probably the only part worth reading throughout this post (or blog). And how do you know its not me pretending to be someone else, wearing a corset and having sex with dogs?. Well, A) The language. I barely manage to put words together, the following articles are written in a highly refined manner. B) The topics handled by them are way above my petty rantings and the humor is much more witty than me putting F words everywhere. C) I don't have a C.
The following is by Mr. Firdaus Kishwar. A good man, this one is. His post is funny, but then again, I laugh at a fart which was just skin rubbing on leather. SO have a look for yourself.
Not really... Surprise me...
Disclaimer: Reading ahead could cause some serious, irreversible damage (that’s how bad this is going to be).
So anyway, I’m writing this because my friend, the “boob” (this one actually is a code name), asked me to write it. He said there was no specific topic I had to write on, but he was subtly hinting at Valentine’s Day. Subtle however is matter of perspective. While talking to me on the phone, telling me there is no particular topic I had to write it on, he sent me a sms saying “you can write it on the topic of valentine’s day if you want”.
But this Valentine’s a big occasion for him. He’s gonna reveal to us whom he likes. The guys and I have got a bet going on as to who it will be. No, wait, that’s the second bet. The first one is a bet on which gender he has a crush on. I personally have a hundred bucks on him being gay. I’m also in on the second bet, with two hundred bucks on him having a thing for the B.H.A.L.L.A. (refer to previous posts).
I know the B.H.A.L.L.A. has a secret thing for him. Nick and “boob” went to watch a movie without the B.H.A.L.L.A. and the B.H.A.L.L.A. (seriously is getting annoying typing his name out) then had a broken heart. The sms’s that followed went like this:
the B.H.A.L.L.A.: “what, you went without me?”
boob: “dude relax, just a movie. Besides, I really wanted to watch it. I heard some guys kisses another guy.”
the B.H.A.L.L.A.: “that hurt. I'm hurting inside now baby. I'm not going to talk to you until you do something sweet for me.”
The next day in school, in attempt to pacify the B.H.A.L.L.A., ‘boob’ tried to learn the soulja boy dance and win him back. It did work to some extent, as you will see in the following sms’s:
the B.H.A.L.L.A.: “ I assume you got home since you haven’t returned any of my calls or messages. Call me!!!
Boob: “sorry dude, left my phone at home when I went to say “hey, waats upp?” to a bunch of friends in the colony.”
the B.H.A.L.L.A.: “see, that wasn’t so hard now, was it?”
We guys read his sms’s one of these past days, and were all like “What the hell!?!? We weren’t even invited to the wedding!! That to when we set you guys up!!” (please get the joke)
I sincerely apologize for writing something like that. Though my writing otherwise is only marginally better. Go see http://firdaus1992.blogspot.com to read more.
By Firdaus Kishwar
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And Wow. That just blew me away. It really did and I think I lost some weight!
The next one is by The B.H.A.L.L.A, and we are not having an affair... or are we?
Here's The B.H.A.L.L.A.'s post,
A day in the life
Hello and hi and whats been going on? I do not know how to start and I may not know how to end but whatever. I don't care what people are going to say about my writing and content fo this post and I don't care if you understand it or not.
You should just read this thinking nothing and you should know that I when I was asked to write this post, I had many different ideas on what to post about but what I finally settled on might make some of you mad, might piss some of you off and might be a fun read for some of you. Whatever the outcome is, I hope it is a good one for you. Don't come crying to me on Monday morning.
Today is a beautiful morning, the sun is out and the birds are chirping. Happy times indeed. The past few weeks though, have been nothing like today.
Over the past two weeks or so, our exams have ended, we celebrated, saw Slumdog Millionaire, played AOE, threw a grad dinner for our seniors and started Class XII with only 3-4% of the class really eager and wanting to study. These two weeks were quite fun on the whole but mostly pissing off during the times. Especially when Kirat, me and Nick and Avanish and Firdaus went back and forth killing each other and creating a army again and again until Firdaus and Avanish left and me Nick and Kirat went on and on. Eventually we were forced to quit.
There was also the part about sending Nick all around Priya until he found us at Yo! China. These were truly fun times and won't be forgotten for sometime to come. Now let me get on to my actual post. It won't be that long so don't worry.
Let me first of all introduce you to the wonderful people who will grace this post.
In no particular order:
1.Person PO: Annoying, slow and just the right person to laugh at.
2.The Forgotten Loser: This person is just one of those loves to piss off others and is a wannabe SCM.
3.A nejhloupější nejchytřejší osoba / En zeki ve salakça Kişi: Whoever this is will probably be wanting to know what this means and why I did this.
4.Hello, Hi, How Do You Do?: Couldn't think of a much better one so for now this will have to do.
5.El otro: Supports a team but is outnumbered here in New Delhi.
6.Randomness: Needed to be added.
7.Los Otros / Oi Alloi: Does this need to be explained anymore?
If you read my post and know somewhat about me, then you should get the post. If not, then read it again and try and understand it.
The day was whatever you want it to be. The place was NCR. All 7 people were there. The weather was nice and cooperating and what we had decided to do for the day was nothing. We all arrived withing 30 minutes of each other at South Ex except for Randomness. Why there? No one knew. This was all En zeki ve salakça Kişi idea. So we went to South Ex and we went around finding this particular movie for Person PO. We couldn't. Los otros were getting pissed off and so was El otro. We then headed for lunch and Randomness called us. We sent them to Saket while we headed to Ansal Plaza to have some food. Over there, we split up as half the people wanted Subway and the others McDonalds. Randomness had just reached Saket in the meanwhile but couldn't find any of us. So we decided to send them on a Metro ride to Rohini (which is quite a long distance away). We then decided to go for a movie but as usual, that was the hardest decision to be made. We deliberated for about an hour on which one to see but in the end we went for Delhi-6. Randomness being themselves, actually listened to us and went to Rohini.
Person PO and The Forgotten Loser were arguing on whether or not Sonam Kapoor is hot and Hello, Hi, How Do You Do joined in but no one else was up for it. The Los Otros walked out, saw a 40% sale and ran towards it. Leaving A nejhloupější nejchytřejší osoba / En zeki ve salakça Kişi and El Otro to debate on more serious matters. I on the other hand was coordinating the direction in which we were sending Randomness for a ride. They finally reached Rohini and dindn't find us. Being them though, they still wanted to meet us as they knew where we would be in the evening.
We decided a few days before but never told Randomness (though they found out) that we were going to a concert with Jack Johnson and Kanye West. So next for the Randomness's was too finally meet us. We finally told them where we would be. We told them that we just came out of a movie from Priya and that we were heading towards Select City Walk. So they reached there and wanted to slap all of us but hey, we outnumbered them! 11-3.
You know, En zeki ve salakça Kişi finally broke out of his mindset and commented on something he never does. This startled all of us but we all welcomed it. Person PO and Randomness finally told everyone what has been going on. Los Otros and me and El Otro left for my place before the concert. While the others went to Person PO's house. We all went back home. Had some more food. Watched TV. Gossiped and did the usual stuff. We also bitched a lot about people which happenes every other day.
The day was winding down and we all got dressed. Looking hot and handsome. We then met at Siri For Auditorium at 6:30. An hour before it was to begin. The only reason for dressing up was for the party after the concert. The concert was great fun and Person PO and Randomness especially enjoyed it. En zeki ve salakça Kişi commented some more (I shan't tell you the rest). So that was over and we dragged En zeki ve salakça Kişi to the party at Ministry of Sound. It was a Wednesday night, so the women got in free.
The last part of the day was one of the most fun other than the concert. We all danced (for a change), some drank (was bound to happen), no one smoked (thankfully) and Person PO and Randomness really struck it together. They were the new “it” couple. We all spurred En zeki ve salakça Kişi to dance! It was fun. The Forgotten Loser made a fool of himself. The other Randomness hit it off with The Forgotten Loser.
El Otro, Los Otros and I, left at around 11:00 in the night and took Hello, Hi, How Do You Do? And left for El Otro's house where we enjoyed our final few moment before the day ended and a new year began. The new year was to bring us a whole lot more of studying and no time for shit like this so we thoroughly enjoyed the day as much as we could.
The one person I have not talked about much was Hello, Hi, How Do You Do? His story commands a whole post by itself. So that will be left for Part II.
Person PO: “I especially liked the day for my luck was good and my dance was great and all I can say is, Love, Love, Love.
The Forgotten Loser: I roamed around Delhi aimlessly and did stupid shit but hey, when do I not do that?
A nejhloupější nejchytřejší osoba: “Today was th day I finally broke out of my mindset and went a head and did the unthinkable.
Hello, Hi, How Do You Do?: Trailed along, enjoyed it and talked in the annoying way he always does. “I am the man and I am the woman, I shall break free tomorrow”.
El Otro: “My jokes today may not have worked, but who the hell really cares? “I got to see a fabulous concert and spend the last day and hours of freedom with some of my best friends.
Randomness 1: Love, Love, Love, What more can I say? “Actually, the morning journey around the whole of Delhi helped me see a part of Delhi I had never even set foot in before.” Thanks guys!
Randomness 2: I am going to kill you all for this! “Arrgh, you people are going to have to be reported. Beware!”
Randomness 3 & 4: Had awesome fun and wouldn't mind doing this again.
Los Otros: Changed clothes twice in a day, saw a concert and did some shit I wouldn't have done before (Will be revealed in Part II). “We all enjoyed ourselves and the things we did were fun and outrageous but who the hell gives a damn? It is out life, let us enjoy it ourselves. Also, to get revenge on the Randomness was just the best thing one could have asked for”. Thanks and we love you all!
Part I – was the story that was told to everyone. The last day of freedom and all. A day that shall not be forgotten. Part I was the clean and censored part. It was the part which all people who want to can enjoy.
Part II – Now, there was an inside story also to this day. Lots of things happened which are not included in Part I for various reasons. Part II will be carrying the uncensored part and the rest of the story which may be a little out of hand.
So soak up the sun, enjoy the first part of the story and await the upcoming Part II of the story.
Thanks everyone for celebrating the wonderful day with me.
--- --- --- ---
And Wow. That just blew me away. Next time I'll get a monkey.
The following is by my friend who is considered to be one of the smartest kids in the batch (even the school, probably). But trust me, he is not. He is an idiot, like you and I. But the only difference is; he SOUNDS smart. His voice has that arrogance and tone which commands intellect (even I don't know what this is supposed to mean, I just like the way it sounds!). And its not a bad thing, it will help him get far in life and that is also one of he reasons I like this man (also I see through all his bullshit...). His request was that his name should not be revealed so I won't. (there, I didn't reveal you name Kirat Singh...)
A Tribute to Cynicism.
(My friend has this habit of calling me a cynic, so I think I'll give him some cynicism today)
It's fourteenth February. It's Valentine's Day.
I don't care.
The sun still rose in the morning. And guess what? It still rose in the east. The sun will set this evening. It will set in the west. My guarantee.
The cows in my lane will continue to emit, if you know what I mean, methane and continue to shroud the lane with that nauseating bovine smell. It's the day of love.
Chickens and goats will be slaughtered by the hundreds, no, by the thousands to feed the countless Valentine buffets all over the city. It is the day of love.
My seemingly unendingly futile search for a math tutor will continue. In a very serious tone one of them will tell me, 'I'm fully booked but I can come at 5.30 am and 11.46 pm, but only on weekends.' It's the day of love.
While going for a game of Saturday tennis I will still get stuck in a retarded traffic jam just outside my house. People will still look exasperated. Someone in my vicinity will make a comment about improper planning and a corrupt bureaucracy. We Delhiites are very fond of blaming our troubles on 'them.' 'They' will continue to bear the blame for the troubles we will face today. 'They' can't even remove these stinking cows. It's the day of love.
Israel and Gaza had agreed upon a crude ceasefire.
I just read that the Israeli Navy and the Israeli Air force is shelling the Gaza Strip. Innocent civilians, innocent children will die today. It is the day of love.
Two men have been arrested in Australia for starting some of the bushfires that have killed nearly 200 people. There are people in this world who would purposely ignite large tracts of forest to kill, to maim and to destroy. This is the human race, the one that celebrates, so vociferously, the day of love.
It is Valentine's Day, it is the day of love.
Touche.
--- --- --- ---
And Wow. That just blew. Mr. Anonymous, you really are cynical.
Now, this post is by a man, to whom I have no objections saying 'Go fuck yourself'. This man has known me since I was just an amateur retard. This article is by Marcus Aaron T***** Norbula.
Douchebags piss me off!
There's a reason why I illegally download all my movies,i mean uh... wait for them to release on Dvd and then buy them legally on itunes. The whole movie watching experience is just ruined for me. And you know this blog isn't about the people who should shut the fuck up at the movie theater (THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER BLOG), I'm talking about the stupid fucks that come out from a kung-fu movie and think they can fight.
You know how it is,there are always these one or two douchebags that come out of a movie theater just punching and kicking in the air and they're just saying to themselves "Man I wish someone would challenge me to a fight right now" YOU FUCKING IDIOT! Why do you think you can fight? Yeah because 10yrs of martial arts training is equal to sitting on your ass for an hour and a half, eating a fucking tub of popcorn and watching Jackie Chan flip over shit!
Don't do..no you know what; do it! Yeah if you guys ever feel like doing that come out and challenge me to a fight,And then when that happens you're gonna wake up in a Hospital with your head bleeding,wondering; WHERE THE FUCK IS MY IPOD???
And while were talking about Ipods,let me just make a whole another Tangent(yeah me knows big words), If I hear another Douchebag sitting on the bus listening to his Ipod and Singing to it loudly I'm gonna STAB A HOE!!
And if you're a good singer FINE,And if you're a bad singer and you know it DON'T SING ON THE FUCKING BUS!!! And if you're a Bad singer and you don't know it sing right now I'll wait.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................WOW, YOU'RE A BAD FUCKING SINGER!!!, And you know what, I'm a Bad singer I have no control about my pitch or my key or any of those other fucking musical term I don't get, THATS WHY I DONT SING IN FUCKING PUBLIC!!!
- Sing at home
- Sing in your shower
- If your a HOT girl with the age of eighteen, Sing and Dance around your room,RECORD IT and SEND IT TO ME........So I can appreciate your technique..........through Masturbation...
Just because you're listening to Mariah Carey,Doesn't mean you sound like FUCKING MARIAH CAREY!!!
YOU CANT HEAR YOURSELF!!!!!! EVERYONE AROUND YOU CAN FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!
So do me, you and that creepy guy sitting in the back of the bus with his hands down his pants a favor and SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
And if I tell you this please don't Fucking say "The constitution gave me the right to freedom of speech" YES it does ,But it doesn't give you the right TO SOUND LIKE FUCKING HELEN KELLER (Lets see who got that joke)
If I'm coming off as angry, don't worry I'm not, I'm just saying what everyone's thinking...Because really no one wants to hear you sing when you sound like Chewbacca with a dick in his mouth
Marcus A. T. Norbula
--- --- ---
"Chewbacca with a dick in his mouth", need I say more?
NO.
There you have it. four articles by four dumbasses. And I thought I was stupid. Jeez. And what the fuck does “nejhloupější nejchytřejší osoba” mean anyway? Damn man... and I thought this would be good... It turned out amazingly well. This, my friends, is my first plan that actually worked (sort of). And I would like to thank them four, they have out done themselves (not really, but I hear people say that all the time so...). Do visit their blogs. It is much better than this, trust m... oh, who am I kidding. Even my mother doesn't trust me! This has been the most fun I have had since last Wednesday.
I promised I would reveal my lady-love's name. But when I thought about it, I realized that I didn't have the balls to and also I was torn between three girls and two guys... its really hard to decide!
Anyway, I shall wind it up now. I hope you enjoyed it. And my final thought for tonight is; may you never have to read this shit again.
Happy Valentines day.
Blog details;
The B.H.A.L.L.A.;
http:// www.sahilbhalla.com/
This is Mr. Anonymous' blog link;
http://www.kirat92.blogspot.com/
And here is Firdaus';
http://firdaus1992.blogspot.com
And Marcus doesn't have one, because he has a life!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Post No. 11: Whores. And more...
Manage this,
13th February, just a day before valentines day. So, to make tomorrow special I am going to reveal who I like. And by 'like', I mean 'want to go out with'. Because I like everyone in general (except that kid across the mirror, ugly f*ck!).
I'll make this short, because possibly tomorrow's post will be bigger, longer and way more insulting. So I recommend PG, kids.
Tomorrow, apparently, is the day of love. And that is screwed up. Why only one day for love, same goes for friendship day, why only one day? And why f*cking bracelets? Sure, you call them 'bands', they are still f*cking bracelets... some times I feel like the society, in general, is getting dumber as the world is moving forward thanks to a very few sensible leaders. F*ck man, bracelets!
I don't like to fight, it does not mean I am a wuss (it just means that I am a weak little girl). I liked the whole Gandhi theory of non-violence. Violence begets violence. He joined the fight for freedom after the congress and the revolutionaries, but he still had a bigger following than either of the groups. What does that tell us about people? It tells us that man prefers to live in peace than in constant struggle or in midst of constant blood shed and red does not go with all dhotis (also people are a bunch of pussies(and not the good kind)...).
Anyway, I am done for now. Keep an eye out for the 14th. It will be done soon.
Chimichanga (hey Firdaus!)
13th February, just a day before valentines day. So, to make tomorrow special I am going to reveal who I like. And by 'like', I mean 'want to go out with'. Because I like everyone in general (except that kid across the mirror, ugly f*ck!).
I'll make this short, because possibly tomorrow's post will be bigger, longer and way more insulting. So I recommend PG, kids.
Tomorrow, apparently, is the day of love. And that is screwed up. Why only one day for love, same goes for friendship day, why only one day? And why f*cking bracelets? Sure, you call them 'bands', they are still f*cking bracelets... some times I feel like the society, in general, is getting dumber as the world is moving forward thanks to a very few sensible leaders. F*ck man, bracelets!
I don't like to fight, it does not mean I am a wuss (it just means that I am a weak little girl). I liked the whole Gandhi theory of non-violence. Violence begets violence. He joined the fight for freedom after the congress and the revolutionaries, but he still had a bigger following than either of the groups. What does that tell us about people? It tells us that man prefers to live in peace than in constant struggle or in midst of constant blood shed and red does not go with all dhotis (also people are a bunch of pussies(and not the good kind)...).
Anyway, I am done for now. Keep an eye out for the 14th. It will be done soon.
Chimichanga (hey Firdaus!)
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Post No. 10: Love me...
Heidi-Ho Assholes,
I am eagerly waiting for the 14th of February. Mainly for two reasons: one, some girl might grow a pair and ask me out (But if she does grow a pair, I might decline her request... ), but thats just me being horny. Two, my Valentines Day Post. I haven't started it yet, but it will be awesome. It might be in two parts, one posted in the morning the other in the evening. And I am going to be a massive dick. Till now I have taken pot-shots at my friends and a silly pope-quip here and there, but now I am going to rip everyone apart.
Or not. It might be me just being a dick in general. Nothing too rude and too funny (I don't want to spoil my readers with funny content). I say things that I don't mean. A lot.
At home, I have seventeen-eighteen grand stored up. In cash. I don't trust banks. So I was thinking I would pay a girl to like me, but I recently found out they are called prostitutes. And its on an hourly basis. There goes that plan. Plus none of the girls I like are slutty or have father issues. Which is abundant in The US of Assholes but not in India. But I also ask myself; how many guys come up to them(the girls I like) and tell them they totally wanna do them? None, I am guessing. So, if I ask them out I'll get either of the two responses; they might say no (and I'll be an idiot forever, and even without asking someone out, I am pretty close to that situation) or they might be flattered and , possibly, impressed with my confidence, but then they look at me and say no.
Or have pity on me and my sad, insignificant existence and go out with me!
Even though I am grateful to anyone and everyone who talks to me (I mean, come on, who wants to talk to me?), but sometimes people just piss me off. Women in particular. And I am not saying that just because I am a sexist.
I like women. More than men. But I hate skinny women. Most women actors are unnecessarily skinny. I'll tell you what happens when they are too skinny; no big boobs. Very few women are gifted with naturally big breasts and a slender figure but for most, there breast size goes down with their waist size. And this doesn't mean I like fat women (not that there is anything wrong with them) I just don't like extremely skinny women. I like “just slim enough”.
I say, screw size zero.
I am going to bed now. And I'll see you guys (or guy, hey Firdaus) on the 14th.
Hiedi-Ho Assholes.
I am eagerly waiting for the 14th of February. Mainly for two reasons: one, some girl might grow a pair and ask me out (But if she does grow a pair, I might decline her request... ), but thats just me being horny. Two, my Valentines Day Post. I haven't started it yet, but it will be awesome. It might be in two parts, one posted in the morning the other in the evening. And I am going to be a massive dick. Till now I have taken pot-shots at my friends and a silly pope-quip here and there, but now I am going to rip everyone apart.
Or not. It might be me just being a dick in general. Nothing too rude and too funny (I don't want to spoil my readers with funny content). I say things that I don't mean. A lot.
At home, I have seventeen-eighteen grand stored up. In cash. I don't trust banks. So I was thinking I would pay a girl to like me, but I recently found out they are called prostitutes. And its on an hourly basis. There goes that plan. Plus none of the girls I like are slutty or have father issues. Which is abundant in The US of Assholes but not in India. But I also ask myself; how many guys come up to them(the girls I like) and tell them they totally wanna do them? None, I am guessing. So, if I ask them out I'll get either of the two responses; they might say no (and I'll be an idiot forever, and even without asking someone out, I am pretty close to that situation) or they might be flattered and , possibly, impressed with my confidence, but then they look at me and say no.
Or have pity on me and my sad, insignificant existence and go out with me!
Even though I am grateful to anyone and everyone who talks to me (I mean, come on, who wants to talk to me?), but sometimes people just piss me off. Women in particular. And I am not saying that just because I am a sexist.
I like women. More than men. But I hate skinny women. Most women actors are unnecessarily skinny. I'll tell you what happens when they are too skinny; no big boobs. Very few women are gifted with naturally big breasts and a slender figure but for most, there breast size goes down with their waist size. And this doesn't mean I like fat women (not that there is anything wrong with them) I just don't like extremely skinny women. I like “just slim enough”.
I say, screw size zero.
I am going to bed now. And I'll see you guys (or guy, hey Firdaus) on the 14th.
Hiedi-Ho Assholes.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Post No. 9: About sex...
Chimichanga assh*les,
The following is my 'About Me' from my facebook account. Today i found out i might have to change it and make it all decent like for people from California, yeah, there.
I have had a million 'About me's but i like this one the best, its short and sweet and leaves no doubts in peoples mind about who i am.
SO, Here is the 'About Me':
I am a very nice person, even if it is completely opposite of what my friends and family say or that dog i maimed for sick pleasure...
Oh, erm... did i say 'maim', i wanted to say PET, and actually for regular pleasure... not weird sick pleasure, or i would maim a dog like the one i mentioned above...
That reminds me... Do you guys have dogs?...
I need to umm, pet it...
Do comment on it... or don't. And if you do; GET A LIFE!! what are you doing on my blog, hang out with your parents or your dog (just in case) or even the homeless kid on the street... its better than reading about a guy so sick, so demented, so perverted, so full of it, so...
Anyway, this was a fun rant... i'll see you again on the funny-if-he-were-dead pages...
The following is my 'About Me' from my facebook account. Today i found out i might have to change it and make it all decent like for people from California, yeah, there.
I have had a million 'About me's but i like this one the best, its short and sweet and leaves no doubts in peoples mind about who i am.
SO, Here is the 'About Me':
I am a very nice person, even if it is completely opposite of what my friends and family say or that dog i maimed for sick pleasure...
Oh, erm... did i say 'maim', i wanted to say PET, and actually for regular pleasure... not weird sick pleasure, or i would maim a dog like the one i mentioned above...
That reminds me... Do you guys have dogs?...
I need to umm, pet it...
Do comment on it... or don't. And if you do; GET A LIFE!! what are you doing on my blog, hang out with your parents or your dog (just in case) or even the homeless kid on the street... its better than reading about a guy so sick, so demented, so perverted, so full of it, so...
Anyway, this was a fun rant... i'll see you again on the funny-if-he-were-dead pages...
Monday, February 9, 2009
Post No. 8: Oh crap! I ran over your son again!
Hello ladies,
I liked today. It was massive fun. The cast of this post is as follows (All names have been changed, for safety purposes): Me (you shall never know my real name, hahaha...), The B.H.A.L.L.A., Nick (remember the guy who broke his hand running backwards in a race?), Firdaus (Definitely a fake name...) and introducing Kirat.
I woke up at 8 in the morning, it was a gay morning. Fast forward to about an hour and half later, Me, my father and the driver-guy were looking for the resting place of the entity only known as The B.H.A.L.L.A. We were lost. We called this humanoid element and asked him for his damned address but the jack-hole doesn't know how to get us to his house from that particular point. Later we found out that we were only a couple of kilometers away from his house and another major discovery made this day was that The B.H.A.L.L.A. is a flaming idiot! F#ck man! Soon, me, The B.H.A.L.L.A (i hate typing his goddamn name!) and the new cast member, Kirat headed to Priya.
Anyway, after that something funny happened which would have you poor, bored readers laughing until you bled and died. But because of a request The B.H.A.L.L.A. made, i won't even mention it. And I could have traded the fulfillment of this request for the name of the girl he liked, but i am not petty and insensiti... but i am not petty.
After much dance and drama, we reached our desired destination. A small township known as Priya. We, first, headed straight to a food stand and had food. Where a homeless girl started bugging me. I am insensitive, sure, but i felt bad. I couldn't just eat while she looked on, so i stabbed her eyes out. Moving on, we headed to a gaming port. There we played a game called Warcarft (Actually we played AoE II, but warcraft sounds cooler considering that international audiences might be reading this. But we know nobody is reading this except for you sorry bugger...)
The first game i lost. Then we were joined by Firdaus (i know what you are thinking, is he a guy or a girl??... its a 'he'). We played another round. I lost. Again. Nothing to it. I have been doing it all my life. After the second game, we were hungry so we moved to a local eatery (does it mean what i think it means?. We ordered our food and then, my screwy rats, the funniest event of the day took place.
Nick was heading over to Priya, he was late. While we sat in Yo China, he messaged me that he was 5 minutes away. I said fine. Then he called soon, as we were not found in the Game port, and Firdaus took over. We first told the rat-bastard that we were in Saket, a place far away from Priya but then we said we were kidding, and we were in Priya, a place called 'Near East'. Again, we were not there. He called again, after making s believable excuse we told him we were in Subway and then he sopped believing us. And then we told him we were in Yo China and he didn't believe us! That was funny. As all hell!
Nick is a nice guy. I like him (not sexually). Post lunch, we went started the third game of AoE II. Out of the five of us, Firdaus and Kirat (and Nick, but Firdaus and Firdaus were obviously underestimating me and The B.H.A.L.L.A and Nick too, but not so much). They say Over-confidence is man's worst enemy (I don't know who sais it, but boy, were they right...).
We (me, Nick and The B.H.A.L.L.A) were on one team. The underdogs according to Kirat and Firdaus, who were on one team. Throughout the first half they were giggling and planning this awesome attack. Jack-holes, the both of them. By the time they reached my island (oh yes, the idiots chose an island terrain to take me on..,) half of Firdaus' fleet was destroyed and well then we mostly raped their happiness. And man, was it good. Nick proved himself. he really did. But he had the advantage of time and people not trying to destroy his base constantly. If i didn't need to go to a Chinese cobbler, we would've won.
Yes, a chinese cobbler. My dad told me something yesterday that i couldn't believe. He had actually owned something made by a china-man which lasted more than six months! Shoes! Of all the things, shoes! I got my self a pair. Nice, sober ones. My dad got two. Real leather and other stuff i don't get, but it was good stuff.
Today was fun. OH, on the way back, i rememebred i hadn't done my art homework. I had to submit three still-life line drawings. I thought i was going to be up the whole night doing them, but i remembered i had five extra line drawings i hadn't shown her! Now this post has gone from funny-if-he-was-white-and-gay to just sad ranting, so i'll stop.
Bye-bye ding-dong. I like girls!
I liked today. It was massive fun. The cast of this post is as follows (All names have been changed, for safety purposes): Me (you shall never know my real name, hahaha...), The B.H.A.L.L.A., Nick (remember the guy who broke his hand running backwards in a race?), Firdaus (Definitely a fake name...) and introducing Kirat.
I woke up at 8 in the morning, it was a gay morning. Fast forward to about an hour and half later, Me, my father and the driver-guy were looking for the resting place of the entity only known as The B.H.A.L.L.A. We were lost. We called this humanoid element and asked him for his damned address but the jack-hole doesn't know how to get us to his house from that particular point. Later we found out that we were only a couple of kilometers away from his house and another major discovery made this day was that The B.H.A.L.L.A. is a flaming idiot! F#ck man! Soon, me, The B.H.A.L.L.A (i hate typing his goddamn name!) and the new cast member, Kirat headed to Priya.
Anyway, after that something funny happened which would have you poor, bored readers laughing until you bled and died. But because of a request The B.H.A.L.L.A. made, i won't even mention it. And I could have traded the fulfillment of this request for the name of the girl he liked, but i am not petty and insensiti... but i am not petty.
After much dance and drama, we reached our desired destination. A small township known as Priya. We, first, headed straight to a food stand and had food. Where a homeless girl started bugging me. I am insensitive, sure, but i felt bad. I couldn't just eat while she looked on, so i stabbed her eyes out. Moving on, we headed to a gaming port. There we played a game called Warcarft (Actually we played AoE II, but warcraft sounds cooler considering that international audiences might be reading this. But we know nobody is reading this except for you sorry bugger...)
The first game i lost. Then we were joined by Firdaus (i know what you are thinking, is he a guy or a girl??... its a 'he'). We played another round. I lost. Again. Nothing to it. I have been doing it all my life. After the second game, we were hungry so we moved to a local eatery (does it mean what i think it means?. We ordered our food and then, my screwy rats, the funniest event of the day took place.
Nick was heading over to Priya, he was late. While we sat in Yo China, he messaged me that he was 5 minutes away. I said fine. Then he called soon, as we were not found in the Game port, and Firdaus took over. We first told the rat-bastard that we were in Saket, a place far away from Priya but then we said we were kidding, and we were in Priya, a place called 'Near East'. Again, we were not there. He called again, after making s believable excuse we told him we were in Subway and then he sopped believing us. And then we told him we were in Yo China and he didn't believe us! That was funny. As all hell!
Nick is a nice guy. I like him (not sexually). Post lunch, we went started the third game of AoE II. Out of the five of us, Firdaus and Kirat (and Nick, but Firdaus and Firdaus were obviously underestimating me and The B.H.A.L.L.A and Nick too, but not so much). They say Over-confidence is man's worst enemy (I don't know who sais it, but boy, were they right...).
We (me, Nick and The B.H.A.L.L.A) were on one team. The underdogs according to Kirat and Firdaus, who were on one team. Throughout the first half they were giggling and planning this awesome attack. Jack-holes, the both of them. By the time they reached my island (oh yes, the idiots chose an island terrain to take me on..,) half of Firdaus' fleet was destroyed and well then we mostly raped their happiness. And man, was it good. Nick proved himself. he really did. But he had the advantage of time and people not trying to destroy his base constantly. If i didn't need to go to a Chinese cobbler, we would've won.
Yes, a chinese cobbler. My dad told me something yesterday that i couldn't believe. He had actually owned something made by a china-man which lasted more than six months! Shoes! Of all the things, shoes! I got my self a pair. Nice, sober ones. My dad got two. Real leather and other stuff i don't get, but it was good stuff.
Today was fun. OH, on the way back, i rememebred i hadn't done my art homework. I had to submit three still-life line drawings. I thought i was going to be up the whole night doing them, but i remembered i had five extra line drawings i hadn't shown her! Now this post has gone from funny-if-he-was-white-and-gay to just sad ranting, so i'll stop.
Bye-bye ding-dong. I like girls!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Post No. 7: I like to number my posts!
Daily Updates on my crappy, crappy life. (Its actually really fun!)
So, two days ago we had a thing called the Graduation Dinner. We (Namely; me, the two idiot followers that this blog has( Tara and Firdaus(name changed)), Kirat, Radhika, Desna, Urvashi and other people who kept coming and going) worked really hard for this. And all the names in the brackets are not real. Well, two of them almost died of stress. Both women. Both freakishly scary. I honestly didn't do much, but I was exhausted by the end of it.
So, came the dinner that evening. Pretty decent, they made fun of people. And yes, the pope was there, but we just gave him a corner and a little boy.
Food was good enough. I had to share my food with this girl I know. Bitch asked me to get food for myself, herself and this other bitch. At the end of it all, I had to finish a big pile of food, which in all honesty I can. I am fat. Don't judge me asshole.
Anyway, after the whole thing, we went to the Conti. A conti is a party which continues on after the dinner, thus the name 'CONTInuation' party inclusive of underage, binge drinking, loud music, sluts grinding with horny twelfth graders, cheap food, a smell which resembles a scent produced by cigarette and cigar smoke, urine and Rati ma'am (you don't know her, screw it). Well, I was mostly going there because all of my friends were going (except Kirat (name changed) the rat-fagot) and also because I thought I might get some from some drunk chick. BUT there was NO BOOZE. That didn't bother me, I don't drink or smoke. But I was still disappointed; no drunk women.
Moving on, the party was on a pretty big lawn-ground type thing. Only half of it was being utilized, therefore it looked empty and boring. And it was, boring I mean. And cold. Most women had worn pretty... um, I cant really put this nicely, now can I... um, they were wearing clothes which only covered the important parts, the fun parts. Most of them, at least. Some were decently dressed, while I respect that, I wish I could see more. Any boy would. Hopefully.
Some women looked like they had just jumped out of a giant cake, but without the bunny ears. Half of them were busy pulling their strapless outfits above their hoo-haas. Then began the music, then the provocative dancing by the afore mentioned sluts (boy, if anybody from my school reads this... oh, screw them!) and then entered the twelfthies and then the grinding. But the seniors were disappointed, as I said before; no booze. So the geniuses snuck (I just found out; this is not a word) it in.
First they stored it behind the DJ. Yeah, that is smart. But then some smart idoit thought of storing it in the far, unoccupied corner, where most of them flocked around the vodka or whetever shit they were drinking. Whores.
But this wasn't all, now comes the part where I lost 500 bucks. F#ck! The cops came. We had to bribe the buggers. Priyanka (name changed) came to the table where I was sitting along with The B.H.A.L.L.A, Nick and others. She asked for money and for some reason I didn't understand completely thn, I just reached out into my wallet and handed her the five-C note. F#ck! But, then I thought about it. And realized, I am not rich, I am giver. F#ck you!
I left an hour after the cops. The day sucked ass. The dinner was not worth the effort I and the others (I know it should be others and I but screw you) put into it. The conti wasn't worth my money. F#ck!
Anyway, I'll see you when am passing out 500 bills to anyone who asks me for it.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Post No. 6: The horny devil...
Hello again,
As you can see, i have TWO followers now (idiots) and i am truly grateful for their support.
Well, i don't know what to talk about... i have covered most topics that run through my head. And yes, i am as stupid as i sound. And i am not a thinker, a leader or gay. I am a neanderthal follower who likes women. And i flirt. A lot. And i don't know i am flirting when i am but i am! Its weird. And so i ask you this question, WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?
Most of you jack-holes will say yes. But i don't. Because then people just assume you have a lot of money to spare and share (that rhymed... i am going to treat myself to a banana now...). But people don't want to share money, food and sex. I don't know why others don't get that. Sure, if you ask me to share my food or give you a small bite (which is actually three times your regular bite) i can't say no. I am a nice guy. Lazy, insensitive and stupid. But nice.
I am a man of principles. I don't look or sound like it but i am. Here are a few,
1 All for one, one for all: Never leave a friend behind. Friends are rare, grand and unbelievably retarded, but they are your friends. You look out for your people.
2 Women are to be respected (especially the ones you like and when you are with them. you can bitch about the one you don't like behind their backs. But again, i don't do that.) and never let a woman do anything that requires her to... work: The last part is a little screwy. Like this one time i was being sexist on front of a woman (never do that) (and yes, i am sexist and racist), she was carrying two pizza boxes and a box of chocolate piled on top. I asked her to give me the boxes and i added "women aren't suppose to carry stuff". She thought i was being sexist, but this time i wasn't. I honestly wanted to help her because believe in chivalry (sometimes i doubt the existence of this word).
There are a couple more but these are the more important ones. Oh, there is one more:
3 Always respect your parents: I don't care if their opinions or orders or other stuff is pissing me off or annoying me. Respect them anyway. Don't fuck around. They are right, even if thy do act a little harsh. But they are your parents and respect them.
Wow, that was slightly serious. Therefore i shall talk about the 12th grad-dinner. Its about a bunch of people eating dinner.
Anyway, i heard this joke today:
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Hahahah... funny...
I suck at this, but this is fun.
Anyway, i shall see you jolly wankers later.
As you can see, i have TWO followers now (idiots) and i am truly grateful for their support.
Well, i don't know what to talk about... i have covered most topics that run through my head. And yes, i am as stupid as i sound. And i am not a thinker, a leader or gay. I am a neanderthal follower who likes women. And i flirt. A lot. And i don't know i am flirting when i am but i am! Its weird. And so i ask you this question, WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?
Most of you jack-holes will say yes. But i don't. Because then people just assume you have a lot of money to spare and share (that rhymed... i am going to treat myself to a banana now...). But people don't want to share money, food and sex. I don't know why others don't get that. Sure, if you ask me to share my food or give you a small bite (which is actually three times your regular bite) i can't say no. I am a nice guy. Lazy, insensitive and stupid. But nice.
I am a man of principles. I don't look or sound like it but i am. Here are a few,
1 All for one, one for all: Never leave a friend behind. Friends are rare, grand and unbelievably retarded, but they are your friends. You look out for your people.
2 Women are to be respected (especially the ones you like and when you are with them. you can bitch about the one you don't like behind their backs. But again, i don't do that.) and never let a woman do anything that requires her to... work: The last part is a little screwy. Like this one time i was being sexist on front of a woman (never do that) (and yes, i am sexist and racist), she was carrying two pizza boxes and a box of chocolate piled on top. I asked her to give me the boxes and i added "women aren't suppose to carry stuff". She thought i was being sexist, but this time i wasn't. I honestly wanted to help her because believe in chivalry (sometimes i doubt the existence of this word).
There are a couple more but these are the more important ones. Oh, there is one more:
3 Always respect your parents: I don't care if their opinions or orders or other stuff is pissing me off or annoying me. Respect them anyway. Don't fuck around. They are right, even if thy do act a little harsh. But they are your parents and respect them.
Wow, that was slightly serious. Therefore i shall talk about the 12th grad-dinner. Its about a bunch of people eating dinner.
Anyway, i heard this joke today:
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Hahahah... funny...
I suck at this, but this is fun.
Anyway, i shall see you jolly wankers later.
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